“Grief Isn’t a Sprint, It’s a Never-Ending Marathon (But with Snack Breaks and Ugly Crying)”

Grief. What a delightful little word, huh? Short, simple, and capable of turning your life into a whirlwind of feelings, tears, and existential questions like, “Why do bad things happen to good people?” or “How much crying in the shower is too much crying in the shower?” If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve already met grief, and spoiler alert: it’s not the polite kind of guest who leaves after dessert. Nope. Grief moves in, unpacks its bags, and sets up camp in your heart forever.

But here’s the thing: Grief isn’t just about sadness. It’s about love that didn’t get the memo that someone’s gone. It’s about carrying memories, processing feelings, and finding a way to laugh through tears. So, let’s dive into this lifelong grief journey with a bit of humor, heart, and tips to keep you steady on the ride.

Grief Is the Friend That Never Leaves (And Eats All Your Snacks)

You know that one friend who always says, “Aight, Imma head out,” but then hangs around just a little longer? That’s grief. One minute, you’re feeling fine, and the next, BAM—here comes a smell, a song, or that random sweater at the back of your closet, and you’re sobbing into your cereal.

The truth is, grief doesn’t disappear. It just changes outfits. Initially, it’s loud, messy, and basically impossible to ignore. Over time, it becomes quieter, like a background song you notice now and then. But it never really leaves, and that’s okay. It’s proof you loved someone deeply.

Why Grief Is Like Assembling IKEA Furniture

Let me set the scene: You’ve got a pile of pieces (feelings), some vague instructions (well-meaning advice), and a tiny wrench that doesn’t feel very helpful (your coping mechanisms). Grief is confusing and frustrating and sometimes leaves you with extra pieces you don’t know what to do with.

The key? Take it one step at a time. You don’t need to “fix” grief (and honestly, good luck trying). Just keep showing up, fumbling your way through, and accepting that some days, things won’t make sense—and that’s perfectly normal.

So, What Helps? (Other Than Ice Cream for Dinner)

1. Let the Feelings Be Messy

Grief isn’t a neat little package tied up with a bow—it’s more like an exploded suitcase. And that’s fine! One day, you laugh at a memory; the next, you cry because someone said their name. Let the feelings come and go. They’re like waves—you can’t stop them, but you can learn to float.

2. Find Your “Grief Go-To’s”

You know, the things that make life feel a smidge more bearable. For some, it’s therapy (highly recommend, by the way). For others, journaling, blasting music, or talking to a friend who gets it. Heck, it’s crocheting tiny sweaters for your dog. Whatever helps you process, lean into it.

Pro tip: Avoid people who say things like, “It’s time to move on” or “They wouldn’t want you to be sad.” These people clearly don’t get it—and probably microwave fish in the office break room.

3. Laugh When You Can

Grief isn’t just tears; it’s also the absurd, ridiculous moments you couldn’t make up if you tried. Like accidentally dropping your loved one’s ashes on the carpet (yes, this happens) or realizing you’ve been talking to their photo out loud at Target. Find the humor in these moments—it’s not disrespectful, it’s human, y’all!

4. Create Rituals That Ground You

Rituals don’t have to be fancy or spiritual. What you do can be as simple as lighting a candle, visiting a particular place, or baking the lost loved ones’ favorite cookies. Things like this can help restore some connections, even if they’re no longer physically here.

5. Let People In (Even When You’re a Hot Mess)

Grief can make you feel isolated but be honest: Your loved ones aren’t judging you for showing up to brunch in sweatpants with mascara streaks. (If they are, rethink who you’re brunching with.) Sharing your feelings with trusted friends or family can make grief a little lighter.

The Truth About Time (Spoiler: It Doesn’t Heal Everything)

You’ve probably heard the phrase, “Time heals all,” or something like that. Let me rephrase that for accuracy: Time usually makes grief easier to carry, but it doesn’t erase it. Over time, you’ll have more good days than bad, but there will always be moments when the loss hits like a ton of bricks. It’s not a process you go through and then graduate. I always thought that was the case until the last few years. I was hoping that was the case. It would just be over. Oh, I was so wrong! And you know what? That’s okay. Those moments are a testament to the love you still carry. Grief is just love’s way of sticking around.

When in Doubt, Find the Joy in the Small Stuff

Sometimes, grief is too heavy to tackle head-on, and that’s when the little things come to the rescue. The little things are all around us! The smell of fresh coffee, the sound of a crackling fire, a really good hug. Focus on the tiny joys, like breadcrumbs, that lead you back to yourself.

You’re Doing Better Than You Think, My Friend!

Here’s the kicker about grief: There’s no right way to do it. There is no timeline, no finish line, no gold stars. If you’re getting through the day—whether that means showering, crying, laughing, or all the above—you’re winning at this grief thing.

So, be gentle with yourself. Let the love you have guided you through the hard days, and when you’re ready, let joy sneak back in, even if it feels unexpected. Because grief isn’t about forgetting or “getting over it”—it’s about carrying them with you as you keep going.